if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
