He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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