She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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