I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
