i think my tv is drunk
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
