Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i now understand why vodka
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
