My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
