David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm passing your future prison.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
