We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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