two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
