The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
