Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
