We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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