ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
