Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
