I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
