I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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