She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
