I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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