Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
