No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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