Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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