I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
