Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize