Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
