She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
