It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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