I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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