I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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