i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
