I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
