Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So much rum. So many feels.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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