I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize