I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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