Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
