Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize