Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
50% drunk capacity currently
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
