ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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