Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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