so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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