i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
sarcasm needs its own font
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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