I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize