Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
