Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
