are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
