Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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