So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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