Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize