I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize