we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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