Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize