i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize