there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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