i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
