My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
