I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
