just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Let's get the cat blown out
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
